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I would like to start this blog by sharing a poem by Danielle Doby:

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Silence is a scary thing. Loneliness can be suffocating. Looking inward can be terrifying. Facing your pain can be devastating, and independence is never easy. In the past few years, I have learned a lot about myself. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is how to be alone. I still have not mastered the art of solitude or independence, but I don’t think mastering solitude is as important as the effort.

When I first began practicing solitude, I realized that I did not like to be alone. If I wanted to go grab a bite, I would invite someone to come along. If that person declined I would ask someone else, and the cycle continued until someone said yes. I found that if I wanted to get something done, whether it be an assignment or an errand, I liked to have someone with me. These seem like really simple desires right? Nobody wants to be alone. I love my friends and I like to be with them. That’s natural right? The issue with never having alone time is that it can become such a habit that when we are finally alone, we cannot self- motivate, we can’t self-love, and so on.

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I know most people must be sick of the “we are always on our phones” discussion, but it is pertinent to this blog so try and stick with me.

Social media and technology have so many benefits. One being that it allows people to connect all over the world. It also is an ever present cushion that we can use when we are alone. Essentially, if you think about it, technology allows us to never truly be alone. If you’re feeling insecure, you can throw up a cute selfie and get a few hundred likes. You’ll feel better. Feeling restless or lonely? Post it on your story. Someone is bound to swipe up and check on you, validate you, and reassure you. Feeling stressed? veg out to an endless supply of funny videos, posts, tweets , or maybe go to a more R-rated site to find your comfort. Trust me, we’ve all been there. At the end of the day , we all have things that plague us in moments of silence. As a result , we run from loneliness and search for validation from others sources.

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The point is, we never are alone so it’s hard to learn what Solitude really means. I love this poem from Danielle Doby because she is proud of her solitude.

She says “the relationship i have with self is a sacred one , for all it is the soil all connection will bloom from.”. It’s true what people say about self love and falling in love. It may sound cliche, but you cannot truly love and live freely if you have no love for yourself. The time you spend with yourself is crucial and prepares you for the loud noise that comes along with life. I wish that I could love my solitude, love my alone time, and love myself in times of silence. Sometimes it’s just not that easy. What i’m learning is that solitude means not only embracing alone time, but choosing it. When you choose to spend time alone and embrace your pain, your fears, and your past. You learn all about your inner weaknesses but also your inner strength and God’s comforting spirit. I think that solitude can be scary for that reason alone.

I would like to add that there is a clear difference between loneliness, isolation, and solitude. I have experienced all three, and I think it is important that we know the difference. Often times, feeling lonely or feeling the need to isolate yourself is a warning sign that you need some solitude. Solitude is not simply being alone, it is being INTENTIONAL with your alone time. How you spend your time alone is not useless, and working to make your down time productive is a crucial key to self love. Let’s be clear, sitting on my phone for three hours on social media platforms is NOT healthy whether I enjoy it or not. So often, I am plagued by a feeling of loneliness or depression, maybe just simply feeling down and instead of taking the time to search out the heart of that issue, I pull out my phone, throw on a Netflix show, or use my favorite coping mechanism: sleeping.

We tend to run to these habits when something is hurting on the inside. (Or even when we feel lost/lonely/discouraged/burned out, etc). Whenever I feel tempted it helps me to ask myself, “what am I looking for and what is hurting?” Then I can have an even more honest conversation with the Holy Spirit. This can be really hard, and even scary.

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Well, God wants to reveal something to you. He loves your solitude, your silence, and your weakness. This is because God is exemplified in our weaknesses. God wants to speak with you, comfort you, and be your confidant. In those times of loneliness and silence, he is the most present. My youth pastor once defined solitude with Psalm 46:10 which says:

 “Be still, and know that I am God;

God tells us to “be still” as “to be quiet in his presence.” Silence is important and so is stillness, but my youth pastor taught me that the verse also means to stop frantic activity, to let down, to be still.

This verse can be translated to: “Cease striving and know that I am God.”

I love this translation of the verse the most. We are constantly striving for something in our lives: success, freedom, peace, and so forth. Sometimes this constant striving can block God’s voice. All the noise and bustle of daily life can make God’s still small voice almost unrecognizable. This is why Solitude is so important; not only is it important for yourself and your inner strength, but it is also important to God. He longs to have one on one time with you.

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Take some time for yourself. Sit in silence , read the bible or any good book, journal, take in the beauty of nature, and listen for the voice of God. Practice Solitude because you owe it to yourself and you owe it to the people that you’re doing life with.

Whatever The Season Find a Reason

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I just recently made some big shifts in my life. These shifts were of the spiritual kind, physical kind, and even emotional. To preface this : I am not someone that usually approaches change with confidence. For the past few years, I have made every excuse possible to postpone the reconstruction that God wanted to take hold in my life. In the meantime , I went to school for something I wasn’t passionate about. I worked and saved money to “prepare myself” for my future goals . I “worked on myself” instead of working with Christ and so forth. 

While those things might seem productive …. There is an issue in thinking those things can keep God’s ultimate plan from coming to fruition. With that being said , here I am, finally sick and tired of feeling like my life is mediocre and superficial. Ready to hear all of the plans that the Lord has for me. And boy has he been saying a mouthful. 

We all have hopes and goals that we want to come to fruition one day. They can be large goals, or even small ones that can be achieved in a day. Maybe you want to start jogging . Maybe you want to start a blog , change your major , maybe even start a business . Who knows what it may be . All you know is that you have a dream or a passion that you would love to build your life around.

But when we fantasize our dreams we tell ourselves:

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 Can you REALLY do what you love , please the Lord , AND be successful? 

The answer is YES. 

What I have recently learned is that we simply HAVE to find a reason . We need to find a reason to get up early and spend time with the Lord , to start self care, to do what brings us joy.  

Even in the seasons when it feels like you cant even find a reason to get out of bed every morning. 

The truth is , no matter what season of life that you’re in, there will be an excuse NOT to do something. But if you can find one reason to chase after what you want, one reason to choose the lord again , one reason to open your bible , one reason to believe in your dream…. you’ve already taken the first step. 

There is a shift that happens when you open the door and allow God to take control of your dreams . It’s scary at first because God has his ultimate plan , and sometimes he leaves some things hidden from us. How do we know this ultimate plan will bring us our hearts desires ? It’s natural to be fearful of what the future holds for you. 

So, here are some tools I have been using to achieving success, my dreams , and pleasing the Lord .  (yes, all three)

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Faith (in practice)

I recently have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and doubt when it comes to God’s plan. In a moment of stillness of worship the other day I was filled with hope and faith in the lord . I asked the holy spirit

“How can i achieve this feeling on a daily basis ? In a moment of worship and prayer , I am so sure of your faithfulness , but then on a day to day basis I am plagued with doubts.”

In response I heard him say “you have faith, but you have no practice”. Faith is the strength and backbone of a relationship with Christ. To truly believe in a resurrected father  is a choice , but after that we must learn what it feels like to use the word of god, the discernment of the holy spirit , and strength of God’s love IN EVERY SITUATION physically possible . Until all of that practice turns into first nature.

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Plain old hard work and dedication

My God is a miracle-working God and I truly believe that He can make mountains move and oceans part on my behalf. What I have learned is that sometimes I ask God to move mountains and part oceans before I am even standing in front of them. I fear the obstacles ahead so much that I avoid taking the steps to make it to that mountain or that ocean. I simply beg my miracle working God to move mountains and part oceans while I sit back and waste a potentially joy filled life.

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In summary: Sometimes the biggest obstacle we face is ourselves. 

I don’t know what season you’re in. I don’t know what struggles you are facing, but I want to encourage you: Find a reason. Find a reason to be obedient , faithful, and hard working. Chase after whatever dreams you have. God has promised YOU joy, victory, and freedom. Submit your dreams and plans to the Lord and work hard. You can do it, but even better: God can do it.